Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Back to the Basics

It's no question that absence from this blog site is evidence that I haven't had a moment to sit down and pen my words to screen. I certainly do apologize for this and promise to do my best to continue with this blog. I find it important to have my friends read what is on my mind at the moment minus the filter that I have to transmit through a microphone.

As mentioned in previous posts, the past year has quite the roller coaster for me. I managed to go through a number of challenges that tested my character as a professional and an individual. Professionally, I recently admitted to my Program Director that last year's personal events consumed my professional life and I wasn't proud of not putting forth the 100% of effort in my tasks at work. Could I have been more succinct in on-air breaks? Could I have done more research on bands? Could I have attempted to be more humorous in my bits as opposed to being "cheesy"? The band of questions could go on and on, but as I sit here and think about the last year, I KNOW that my efforts (or lack thereof) fell short of anything but educational.

Prior to 2007, I had found myself very content with myself after a tumultuous relationship of nearly two years. I had been the happiest I had ever been in my life! By the Fall of 2007, I had earned my Masters degree, taught high school, became a full-time disc jockey, and had the freedom in the world to do anything that I wanted. I didn't have someone on my ass trying to pull at my sleeve telling me how to run my life--granted that I am now good friends with that person and we have both agreed that we are much better as friends.

So, here I am nearly two and a half years later in a position again where I feel more comfortable with my life than ever before--back to the basics before I was told how unworthy I was in someone else's eyes. Words and conceptions of how someone else thought I was this TERRIBLE person still resonate in my mind, yet I had known all along that what they thought was only their opinion and nothing else.

I have reached a new set of milestones in my life and feel accomplished for what I have achieved personally and emotionally. New goals in my life have been presented to me and I couldn't be more excited to jump to the task at hand. Perhaps it has been because I have been honest with myself? I wouldn't say I have been completely honest, but I have been honest enough to understand the value of my happiness--it doesn't lie in someone else for emotional support.

Perhaps I'll elaborate more in a future post, but for the time being, think about WHO you are and HOW you want to be treated as a person. Don't let anyone tell you HOW you should act because it will never be fair to you (OR THEM). Whether it's a buddy, a girlfriend, wife, parent, son, cousin--the roots of worthiness lie in the loyalty of yourself.

Good night,

Shan

5 comments:

  1. Wow Shan. Being (even semi) honest with yourself is really healthy. This post comes across as being pretty humble. I'm impressed.

    And the final two paragraphs really hit home for me. Glad I read this post.

    Have a good one.

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  2. I always amazes me to hear of the people who think its ok to to tell someone else that they are are not good enough (smart enough, good looking enough..etc...) as if they themselves, are worthy of everyone and have no flaws of their own.
    Its good that you are on civil terms now, even better that you chose the path youre on, rather than a path of self pity--- too many people think that what other people say actually has an impact on their lives.. thanks for sharing this Shan, and thanks for continuing to be someone I look forward to listening to every chance I get! You are effective in cheering me up and making me laugh--
    In that alone you are successfully doing your job 100% ~~~in MY book~~~ :)

    Thanks again..
    Shay

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  3. Great post, man. Sometimes the best writing comes directly from the heart. Glad to see you're back on the horse again. I look forward to reading more! It's always nice to have a new found respect and ambition for your own job. Finding that is a rare feat in this day and age. You seem to have found what motivates and the avenues to achieve your goals. Start making things happen! Thanks again for a great post!

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  4. Shan, What a great post! Glad you are being more honest with yourself. Love the last paragraph- So true. You're awesome I tell you that all the time, and mean it everytime I do.

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  5. A very touching post, Shannon. We think as we age that the opinions of others won't affect us anymore, but they still do. Just so you know, every time I think of you I smile -I'm excited for you to open this new chapter and see what's waiting. I think you are an amazing person who loves people and you SO deserve to find happiness, HONESTLY.

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