It's no question that absence from this blog site is evidence that I haven't had a moment to sit down and pen my words to screen. I certainly do apologize for this and promise to do my best to continue with this blog. I find it important to have my friends read what is on my mind at the moment minus the filter that I have to transmit through a microphone.
As mentioned in previous posts, the past year has quite the roller coaster for me. I managed to go through a number of challenges that tested my character as a professional and an individual. Professionally, I recently admitted to my Program Director that last year's personal events consumed my professional life and I wasn't proud of not putting forth the 100% of effort in my tasks at work. Could I have been more succinct in on-air breaks? Could I have done more research on bands? Could I have attempted to be more humorous in my bits as opposed to being "cheesy"? The band of questions could go on and on, but as I sit here and think about the last year, I KNOW that my efforts (or lack thereof) fell short of anything but educational.
Prior to 2007, I had found myself very content with myself after a tumultuous relationship of nearly two years. I had been the happiest I had ever been in my life! By the Fall of 2007, I had earned my Masters degree, taught high school, became a full-time disc jockey, and had the freedom in the world to do anything that I wanted. I didn't have someone on my ass trying to pull at my sleeve telling me how to run my life--granted that I am now good friends with that person and we have both agreed that we are much better as friends.
So, here I am nearly two and a half years later in a position again where I feel more comfortable with my life than ever before--back to the basics before I was told how unworthy I was in someone else's eyes. Words and conceptions of how someone else thought I was this TERRIBLE person still resonate in my mind, yet I had known all along that what they thought was only their opinion and nothing else.
I have reached a new set of milestones in my life and feel accomplished for what I have achieved personally and emotionally. New goals in my life have been presented to me and I couldn't be more excited to jump to the task at hand. Perhaps it has been because I have been honest with myself? I wouldn't say I have been completely honest, but I have been honest enough to understand the value of my happiness--it doesn't lie in someone else for emotional support.
Perhaps I'll elaborate more in a future post, but for the time being, think about WHO you are and HOW you want to be treated as a person. Don't let anyone tell you HOW you should act because it will never be fair to you (OR THEM). Whether it's a buddy, a girlfriend, wife, parent, son, cousin--the roots of worthiness lie in the loyalty of yourself.
Good night,
Shan
